Sunday, November 30, 2008

A Simple way to Smile all day long

You only need two simple things, 2 paper clips and a rubber band to make you smile the whole day.



Step: 1


Step: 2



& Finally....__________________

IF I AM RICH . . .

IF I AM RICH . . .



I will buy Moonlight




My bedroom will have a window which can look for the world



My pretty servant always ready



MY GLASS MADE ONLY BY ORIGINAL DIAMOND



IF I HAVE TIME, I WILL PLAY GOLF ON THE BOAT




MY SECURITY FOR 24 HOURS




TOILET PAPER



MY SWIMMING POOL CAN ONLY FILL IN WITH EXPENSIVE PERFUME




MY HOLIDAY HOUSE

Friday, November 28, 2008

WEIRD WALKING COW.........!

WEIRD WALKING COW.........!

Warning: Do not view while drinking.



Today 's Joke - Boss Reaction After working 3 month

Boss Reaction After working 3 month ....


In the begining.....Boss: Be good, you will be fine.




After a week...



Must Work Hard k?


After a month...



Must Work Hard you know!


After a Quarter....



Can you hear me? you must work hard!!!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Today 's Joke - What you see in the picture?

What you see in the picture?



:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:

Today 's Joke - Funny SMS's

1) What is the similarity between Bill gates and me? Dont know? So simple, He never comes to my house and I never go to his house ...EGO PRoblem

************ ********* ********* ********* *

2) We sms Each Other B'coz U Think Im Nice i Think Ur Nice U Think Im Cool i Think Ur Cool U Think Im Sweet i Think Ur Sweet U Think Im Smart i Think Ur RigHT

************ ********* ********* ********* *

3) Who Said English is Easy

Fill this blank with
Yes or No?

1. __ I don't have a BRAIN.

2. __I dont have SENSE.

3. __I am STUPID.

************ ********* ********* ********* *

4) I want to Share 'EVRYTHING' with U. Your JOYS ur SADNESS, ur HAPPY MOMENTS. Every Single SECOND OF THE DAY. Let's START with Your "BANK A/C

************ ********* ********* ********* *
5) A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife..

************ ********* ********* ********* *

6) There once lived 4 friends, Mad, Brain, Sumbody, Nobody. 1 day, Sumbody killed Nobody. That time Brain was in toilet Mad called the police.
Mad: Is it police station?
Police: Yes,what is the matter?
Mad: Sumbody killed Nobody
Police: R u mad?
Mad: Yes, Iam Mad
Police: Dont u have brain?
Mad: Brain is in the toilet.

************ ********* ********* ********* *

7) Sweet persons talk from HUTCH. Lovers talk from AIRTEL. Beggers talk from BSNL. Beuties talk from SPICE. But BRILLIANTS never talk. They send SMS

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Today 's Joke - WHY TEACHERS GET SO STRESSED...

When in School we always wondered know why teachers always seemed so mad
Now we know the reason.coz they are so stressed out by our kids
Why??????? Read below the essays to know
I really sympathize with this teacher..





Saturday, November 22, 2008

Today's Joke - NINE WORDS WOMEN USE


(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes

if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be

on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men.

A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here

and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all.

DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true!!!

Today's Joke - phone accessories










Thursday, November 20, 2008

Reason Why Never Visit A 5 Star Hotel

Waiter : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"

Customer: "tea please"

Waiter : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"

Customer : "Ceylon tea "

Waiter : "How would you like it ? black or white ?"

Customer: "white"

Waiter: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ?"

Customer: "With milk "

Waiter: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"

Customer: "With cow milk please.

Waiter: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"

Customer: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Waiter: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"

Customer: "With sugar"

Waiter: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"

Customer: "Cane sugar "

Waiter quot; White , brown or yellow sugar ?"

Customer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Waiter: "Mineral water or still water ? "

Customer: "Mineral water"

Waiter: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"

Customer: "I'll rather die of thirst

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Today's Joke - If you understand, say "understand". If you don't understand, say "don't understand"

1. If you understand, say "understand". If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand".How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.

3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.

4. A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he could see was sea, sea, sea.

5. Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People

6. If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

7. I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.

8. Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"

9. Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.

10. SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES

11. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.

12. If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?

"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"

13. We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not.

14. Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.

15. A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue

16. If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.

17. Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

what women do after an accident ??

What is the first thing that WOMEN do after a bad car accident?


Turn off the ignition?

NO


Get away from the car in case it explodes?

NO



Call 911 on her cell phone?

NO


Call ambulance??????


CERTAINLY NOT….



.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.



.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.